


Games

by Nairalin



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Chess, M/M, Seed of Rebellion, indication of slash, nothing is what it seems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 06:46:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nairalin/pseuds/Nairalin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Curufin and Finrod are discussing some important topics while they are playing chess with surprising answers and reactions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Games

**Author's Note:**

> I am not a native speaker, so there might be errors. The wonderful Dawn Felagund is my beta reader.  
> Fyi this is a translation of my own work. I normally write in German not in English, so I am quite proud of it. I would love to hear your opinion about it and critique is always welcomed!
> 
> Fingon = Quenya name (Qu.) Findecáno  
> Curufin = Qu. Curufinwë Atarincë, short form Curvo  
> Finrod Felagund = Telerin name Findárato  
> Feanor = Qu. Fëanáro  
> Fingolfin = Qu. Nolofinwë

 

 

**Games**

### Hill Túna, Tirion, Aman, Beginning of Nénimë of the year 1396, First Age (Years of the Trees)

Golden light fell into the room and illuminated it. It was kept in soft green and blue hues and every now and then there were some golden accents. A crème-coloured couch and two  matching chairs were ordered around a beechen table, while a light davenport stood on the southern side of the room, which was kept with carved flowers and tendrils. It was a masterpiece that already had slight traces of wear. It had been made by his oldest cousin Findecáno as a present on his day of conception. On the wall on the left side of the bureau were book shelves which overflowed.

He snorted at the sight of that chaos. It was time to tidy everything; besides it looked horrible, as he was told often enough.

On the west side were the door to his sleeping room and to his bath. On his living room table laid a board with silvery and golden squares. Several pieces were distributed across it. He sat pensively in front of it, his head in his hand, and watched the silvery pieces of his opponent. That one had just crowded a pawn and it stood now on e3, something that caused him quite a headache. His cousin smirked jovially, hands touching only with the tips of the finger and an amused sparkle in the eyes. He knew only too well that he had been distracted and unfocused for an instant. And there would definitely come an - for him - annoying comment.

"Do you give up, tyënya?" Again a snort escaped him and his gaze lingered on the board. He heard the suppressed laugh and he glared at his dearest cousin. When they weren't absorbed in a discussion about Ilúvatar and Arda; work in stone, glass and metal; or those, in his eyes, absurd fights of their family, then they played this game.

His cousin stood up and fetched a bottle of wine and two goblets from one of the cupboards. With confidence acquired over many years, he opened the bottle and poured a bit into the goblets for Curufinwë and himself. The dark-haired one could smell the dry bouquet with a subtle fruity note from across the room and closed his eyes with pleasure. Amused and slightly annoyed, Curvo only said "What are you dreaming about in the night, Fin?" and crowded his knight. A smile graced his lips and he leaned back, relaxed. He didn't need to see his cousin to know that he rolled his eyes. Some golden strands of hair fell into Fin's face and brought out his silvery grey eyes. He frowned because of his move when he came back to the table. But then his gaze lingered over him and a cheeky sparkle filled his eyes. 

"Solely of you, of course! About whom else should I dream, if not about the man who is similar to the Ainur?" Findárato sat down, took a mouthful of the wine, and gave Curvo his goblet. Only then he took a knight. His smile became a playful smirk. Curious, Curvo watched his cousin's fingers, which still were holding the knight but not moving it. "What have you planned, Curvo? This move doesn't make sense."

Curvo twisted the goblet with pleasure between his fingers and crossed his legs. Calmly, he put down the glass and began to play with the pendant on his necklace. It had been a gift from Findárato for the date of his majority. The trinket was made of onyx and mountain crystal and his birthstone - the onyx - was honed into the shape of an ivy leaf. For him, it was his most precious possession.

"Only because you don't see any sense behind it doesn't mean that it indeed lacks sense." Findárato gave Curvo an unreadable look. Fin sat tensely bent over the board and contemplated the golden figures of his cousin. After this he crowded forth one of the rooks. Curufinwë's eyebrows went up. "What are you doing now?" Fin asked while he was twitching at his sleeves and giving Curvo a warm smile which got under Curvo's skin . "Most likely speaking with our uncle and trying to bring it home to him that Father - at least in my opinion - is jealous to a  certain degree that your father, our aunts and Uncle Nolofinwë all get more attention that he - still! - believes he doesn't get. That is of course a problem that needs to be solved by the whole family. Everyone's known long enough that Father needs to learn how to control his emotions and his temper " Curvo answered the question and took one of the silver pawns. "At least I can't think of a better way. What do you think?"

Fin sighed and brushed a few strands of hair out of his face. He looked up, discontent. "I am not really sure. We might see it simpler than it is for our family members/ aunts and uncles in the end. Stubbornness is a trait which all of our family members more or less possess. It's clear in my mind that Grandfather's made mistakes, big mistakes, but I do understand him when he says that he would have gone under due to the pain and the emotional solitude. In the end a friend or a child will never be able to replace your spouse." He drew breath and drank from the goblet before he continued. "I am also able to understand Uncle Fëanáro and his distaste for Grandmother. It must appear like treason to him. That it isn't right to confer this distaste on the children who originate from the relationship is a completely different topic. Would it be the opposite way around, our aunts, Uncle Nolofinwë and Father would possibly react the same way. Never before it has happened that a spouse has died and some can't tolerate Grandfather's remarriage because they aren't able to understand and comprehend it." His grey eyes were boring through Curvo as he continued to speak. "I guess we all need to exercise tolerance. What happened can't be undone and unfortunately Uncle Nolofinwë is as proud and tenacious as your father ... that is our biggest problem."

Curufinwë leant back and nodded thoughtfully. "Also Aunt Findis and Aunt Finvain don't add anything to it so that it becomes easier to reconcile our families with each other", he suggested quietly. Findárato nodded in resignation. "I don't know what I should say or do to stop Aunt Findis from stirring up hatred against Uncle Fëanáro. I mean even Aunt Faniël has realized that it can't go on like this anymore. Not only that our family gets destroyed but our people become disunited too. And she gets along with him surprisingly well since then", he answered and captured one of the golden bishops. With that move, the corners of Curufinwë's mouth lifted slightly.

"That is because of two reasons. The first and most important one is that she looks similar to our grandmother with her silvery hair and those dark blue eyes. The second one is that she really tries to speak with him and to make him a part of her life. Father is damn stubborn and he is impressed and it has earned his respect that she's trying so undeviantingly no matter how often she is rejected", he said casually and examined the board. He took Fin's silver queen almost tenderly and put it to his lips before he placed it next to the other figures. His cousin looked shocked at him before understanding and a few seconds later frustration flitted over his face.

"I understand." "Do you?" Fin's following look let him break out laughing. But too soon he became serious again. "What are you thinking of, Curvo? And don't you dare say nothing!"

He again put forth one of the pawns. "Aman is a golden cage, we only don't want to see it. We seem to be able to do whatever we want ... but what would happen if someone didn't adhere to the unwritten and unspoken rules anymore, doing something which displeases the Valar?" A shadow covered his face. "I might err ... but aren't they freer beyond the sea, in Endórë? They aren't under the direct view of the Valar. There were made so many orders and prohibitions without us actually being able to decide about them. Take only Grandfather. If Míriel wouldn't have gone into Mandos' Halls, he would've never been allowed to marry again. I am absolutely aware of the fact that few choose the wrong spouse and that it hardly ever comes to a cancellation of an engagement. But when there is only one person who can make us complete, how is it possible that Grandfather lost his heart anew? How could he fall in love again? Also I don't understand how Manwë could decide that isn't allowed to live again, even if she wanted to."

With a sigh he ran his hand through his black hair Findarato's face was a mask of concentration, his eyes unfocused. "I feel like I'm a puppet", Curvo whispered and played again with his pendant. "That is honestly a good question", Fin murmured and ran his index finger over his eyebrow. Curvo swallowed slightly. "What if someone isn't interested in the other sex or perhaps loves two persons? They don't have a chance with all the rules given that only the relationship between man and woman is respected and accepted." He softly rubbed over his temples because of a slight headache. "Shouldn't everyone find happiness in the way it fits him or her the best?"

A look of surprise and agitation hit Curvo. Findárato opened his mouth a bit but closed it quickly. He leant back and thought. For the first time today, Curufinwë wished that he'd held his tongue. His lips pressed together and a closed expression set over his face like a mask. He'd gone too far and had exposed more than he had wanted to. Hi cousin seemed to feel uneasy, and that was the last thing he had wanted. Speech is silver, silence is golden, he thought bitterly.

He wanted to stand up when Fin held up his hand, fingers splayed. Then he intimated to Curvo that he should stay quiet, giving him the time to think. Curvo tensed, closed his eyes and listened to the anxious beat of his heart. "Do you really think that we are captives? Birds in great golden aviaries who have enough but yet too little space to develop?" The question brought him back into reality and his heartbeat became faster again. "Yes ..." he answered and carefully moved forth his rook. "I feel so."

Findárato appeared agitated and pensive. Unfocused, he stared out of the window. "Thus you mean that they are controlling us. Do you believe they would let us go if we wished to return to Endórë?" Curufinwë shook his head. "I must admit that I've never looked at it from this point", Fin confessed and let his glance drift over the chess pieces. "Indeed, the desire to discover and explore new lands is in my blood like everyone who has a bit of Telerin blood, but so far I never had the wish, the urgent wish, to go. Have we ever been in the south? Or have we explored the west past Mandos' Halls?"

He answered his own question with a shake of his head. He moved one of his pawns. "I feel safe, Fin. Too safe. There are no real, no serious conflicts to show us what we're doing wrong. One of those few is the fight of our family but what else? I wish to learn, but how should ... how can I? There is no real incident which shows me the mirror of my mistakes. How should we get wise?" He sighed and captured the pawn of e3 with his bishop. His cousin grimaced and eyed him.

"Not completely right. You are of the mind that we are figures made of glass covered in cloth so that pain and sorrow won't reach us. With it you mean those who are interested in their own sex or rather those who are out of the ordinary."

Curufinwë nodded and waited for the next move. The conversation took a course he hadn't thought of. "Those \- let's call them problems \- get hushed up. Noone wants to be concerned with it because - intolerant as most are - it is abnormal. I've caught from time to time some glimpses of how most seem to think about this topic, when it rarely comes up."

A glance to Fin made him swallow. He was pierced by his silvery grey eyes. "I don't assume that I can judge someone. Particular attitudes and preferences don't need to be suitable for me, they are acceptable as long as they are suitable for the person who acts them out. You really should know this, Atarincë!" Curufinwë winced caught at the accentuation of his mother name. Ashamed, he looked on the board; with his last bishop he captured a rook and put it next to queen after Fin moved forth a pawn. "It wasn't meant like this." "But you feared that I would react dismissively, indonya!" He swallowed and tried to stay calm. "Who would believe you were like your father when one would see you like this? Especially who would believe that you take better care of your son than your former fiancée?" Findárato asked softly. "I don't know ..."

He didn't know how long they were silent, when "Gardez, tyënya!" came from his cousin. Fin smiled at him. For a short moment it took his breath away when he saw the pleasurable glint in those silvery grey eyes. A queasy feeling filled him, and he directed his concentration on the board. He put the queen back to c6. A few moves later, both were about several pawns poorer and near the end. "What is with Amarië?" Curufinwë asked and starred tenaciously at the game. He noticed, even without looking up, the lurking gaze of Findárato. "What should be with her?"

Yet, he carefully looked up. "That's what I asked you." Findárato's eyebrow rose up to his hairline. "I am only surprised that you ask me. Nothing more", he answered instead and leant back. "Up to now I was of the opinion that you can't stand her." Agitated, he moved a pawn. His fingers were slightly trembling, something that didn't go unnoticed by his cousin. Suddenly fingers clasped tightly around his hand as he wanted to pull it back. "Why is it that I don't lose the unmistakable feeling that you're hiding something from me." A statement. Curufinwë tried to pull away his hand, whereupon the grip of the fingers got tighter.  Unwillingly, he returned the look , his heart beating faster. Findárato must have felt it, Curvo thought, and he looked at their hands. Suddenly he felt how Fin's hand held him more from the side and how his thumb caressed the back of his hand gently.

He grew stiff. He became increasingly agitated and his heart beat faster. "We both know that you need both sides", Fin said quietly and looked him in the eyes. He nodded and looked aside. "It's nothing you need to be ashamed of or even need to hide from me." A warm expression lightened Findárato's face. His fingers caressed gently the back of his hand and finally they let him go. "I would deny my heart", Curufinwë only answered. "Truth spoken." Findárato took his rook and put it on Curvo's baseline. A subtle smile found its way onto Fin's face. He looked boyish, boyish and wise. Maybe more than some others in their family.

Curvo took his remaining bishop and put it down. "Check." A smirk spread over his face, lit his green eyes. The king was relocated. He frowned. He moved his queen and put her down. Too late he realized his mistake. "I am really, really sorry, indonya, but this queen is mine now", Fin laughed and put it to his lips, like his cousin had done a short while ago.

Grumpily he watched how his favourite figure was set aside with the other pawns. He moved his bishop back to d5 and waited. "Check." He sighed and wanted to disarrange his king, but ...

"Check mate."

Visibly amused, his opponent sat in the crème-coloured chair and watched him.

"Revenge?" he asked his cousin. "Maybe some other time." Findárato stood up and took both goblets to the credenza and put them down neatly.

When Fin walked to the door and had his hand laid already on the doorknob, a question slipped out, a bit insecure. "What are you keeping in mind, Fin?"

Findárato turned around, giving him is warmest and most tender smile.

"You!" he said and vanished.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Quenya:
> 
> Tyënya = my dear (kinsman)  
> Indonya = my heart  
> Nénimë = February
> 
> F.A. = First Age  
> YT = Years of the Trees  
> In my imagination Curufin has had only a fiancèe not a wife.  
> Weiters: Curufin hat bei mir eine Verlobte, keine Ehefrau gehabt.
> 
> 1 valian year is 9,582 years of our time, 1 valian day is 84 hours.


End file.
